***Note***

no post for the past 20 days or so.

It just got too painful to write.

Would just try. And face this pain. And to be truthful.

It is getting better.


Only when one lets go of desire to possess. Of ego.
Add some compassion.
Then the love would be pure.

The Dark Shadow

A shadow.

Resides. In his heart. Opaqueness of the shadow, with a fleeting lightness. Its always there. With fleeting lightness, undetected.

It is this lightness that makes it easier. That he does not know of its existence.

He could simply pretend that it is not there. Like a Oscar nominated best male lead. Smiling at the world. At a bliss that is hard sought.

This shadow has a special ability though. It rears its head, slowly. Then suddenly. Devouring all in its path. The air smells damp. The taste of food dulls. The world becomes a ashen grey.

He tries.

Tries hard. To be happy. Though it is hard.

Fighting the dark shadow. Even when he feels he wants to be truly happy, this blanket of ash. Descends. Coloring everything.

WHY?! Do you take joy in taking away this happiness?

He crumbles and kneels. Face buried into his palms. The smell of nicotine wafts. Wafting. The heart burns.

The shadow goes back, sensing the need to strike a balance. It needs a container. It cannot kill the container. Tormenting just enough.

Waiting.